Relationships involving men who love pantyhose | nohealani's Blog

This is a complicated subject, and one I felt compelled to address after having written my last blog post. It seems that the vast majority of the members in the pantyhose experience groups here at EP are men. I suppose this sort of makes sense, as pantyhose are not generally items that warrant a whole lot of topical discussion among women.

The subject matter of most of the male EP pantyhose stories generally involve a man's attraction to women in pantyhose, or a desire for a man to wear pantyhose himself. To these men: know that I do not judge you, and I truly wish the best for you in your endeavors.

But when it comes to the subject of involving your pantyhose fetish in your relationship with your wife, I think it may be easy to lose perspective, as for some men, these fetishes seem to be a major driving force behind their moods and actions. Often, perception and feelings toward a man's wife is often fluxed through the filter of how she deals with or accepts her husband's pantyhose fetish.

As you read these words, what I have to say may seem like common sense. Then again, it may not. If what I have to say comes across as preachy, so be it. I just want men to understand how this matter may be viewed from a woman's perspective. While I will be speaking about men with pantyhose fetishes, the spirit of this post can be applied to any type of fetish.

This post is addressed to the men out there who would like to have an open relationship with their wives regarding their love of pantyhose--whether it be a desire for their wives to wear pantyhose more often, or to wear pantyhose themselves. To those men, I sincerely hope that you be very considerate of your wife, and show some maturity if you don't always get your way.

Regardless of what fetish you may have, if you and your wife are able to genuinely enjoy it together, cherish what you have. It is something very special. Participating in something which is a common source of joy for both parties greatly strengthens a relationship.

A man wanting his wife to wear pantyhose, or a man enjoying wearing pantyhose himself, isn't in itself a bad thing. What is bad, however, is when that attachment to pantyhose escalates to the point of obsession, and becomes a necessary requirement for happiness in a relationship. That's when the harmless fetish becomes a destructive one.

For some men, it is possible that pantyhose have displaced their wives as the focal point of their physical and psychological fulfillment. This is wrong. No woman should ever be relegated to being just a warm body that wears pantyhose; or, merely some means to fulfill some fantastical desire.

Guys, if it is difficult for you to perform with your wife unless some aspect of pantyhose is involved, take a step back. Your wife should be the most important thing in your relationship, not an inanimate piece of nylon and Lycra. It is one thing to be dependent on Viagra due to medical reasons. It is a completely different matter to be dependent on a psychological stimulus like a fetish item.

I'm not saying that you have to give up your fetish. As I have said before, having a fetish, in itself, isn't a bad thing. What I am asking is that you be considerate of your wife. If she is 100% fine with you involving pantyhose in your endeavors 24/7, great. But if she needs a break (as even I do from time to time), be sensitive to her feelings.

Readers of my previous posts know that I really love pantyhose. So does my husband, and I would venture to say that he probably likes pantyhose more than I do. However, our lives do not revolve around pantyhose; our lives revolve around each other. That's the way it should be. I'm not saying that we are the model couple, as we naturally have our share of problems. However, pantyhose are never the source of those problems.

To the men who understand and practice what I have talked about, I applaud you because you "get it." I optimistically believe that this is how it is with most men who have wives that accept their fetish. However, to the remaining men, I ask that you reflect on what is most important to you. If your wife has accepted your fetish, it is because she loves you, and wants you to be happy. But please don't take advantage of that, or take it for granted.

I guarantee that your love of pantyhose isn't the only thing your wife is accepting about you--there are many other unspoken things that we contend with on a daily basis, yet accept them because we love you. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't overwhelm your wife with your pantyhose fetish. Don't hold a grudge against her if she needs a break--if you have come to that point, I'm sorry to say that you are now putting your fetish before your wife; the object has become more important than the human being wearing it. Such a circumstance will eat away at a relationship like cancer.

Maybe I misunderstand or underestimate the psychological attachment some men may have to pantyhose. But I can only try to understand it in the context of how I would feel if I were to make an unusual request of my husband. I would be elated and grateful if he were to indulge me in any hypothetical desires I may have. But I would also do my best to temper those desires if he felt he were being inundated with them. It's good to enjoy them sometimes, but not all of the time.

Understand that relationships are about give and take. Perhaps you could do certain things that your wife asks of you? Whether she is extremely enthusiastic or just accepting of your pantyhose fetish is irrelevant. Your wife is doing what she can to make you happy; please reciprocate that commitment.

- Nohea